Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Wedding Tip #19 - When to ask Attendants

Bridal Party Cheer

asks: "I haven't even got my wedding party together yet because Tim has yet to call his best man and decide on groomsmen. I suppose I can wait a little bit longer for him to make up his mind but I feel like a jerk waiting so long to ask people! All the magazines/websites say 6 months is sufficient, but how much time do you think I need?"

Natalie, this is a tough one! I can't say there's an exact time when it's best to ask bridesmaids. From my experience: I asked my bridesmaids to be in the wedding about a month after getting engaged, 9 months before my wedding. I have been in two weddings already, and am in a 3rd in 2010 and I have always been asked 1-3 months after the bride gets engaged. This doesn't mean that's the rule - I think some girls just can't wait to start planning and want their girlfriends in on the planning ASAP! I know I talked about my wedding non-stop as I was planning and friends who are a part of it are more ready to lend an ear!

You must be very restrained to not be chatting with the girls and say "your dresses" or some other slip - I would have been too excited to not blurt it out! I think you should tell Tim to get on calling his dudes! :) Ok, in all seriousness I would say, if possible, try and give attendants at least 9 months for planning. Between the shower & bacherlorette party it does take time to get everyone and everything organized. Plus summer schedules get tricky so you'll to give plenty of advance notice for their important dates.

On the topic of bridesmaids - here are some other helpful links:

Creative ways to ask "Will you be my maid?"
From weddings.about.com
From www.wedaholic.com

Bridesmaid etiquette, what you should and shouldn't ask of them:
How much can I ask them to spend on dresses?
Can I ask them to alter (or not alter) their apearance?
And a whole list of maid ettiquite!

Bridesmaid duties:
From: www.elegala.com
From: www.theknot.com

And a little off topic but here's a cute blog post about a guy whose friends threw him a man shower! http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/04/18/men-can-have-showers-too

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Thanks Katie! Those links will be very useful! Now to get working on Tim...